First holiday wo my family...

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First holiday wo my family...

Postby angie7 » Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:17 pm

So as the title states, this is my first holiday without my family in my life and I'm not handling it well. Long story short, I was married for 9 years, we have 4.5 year twin girls. There was some domestic violence issues in our marriage and last year it escalated to the point that I lost my unborn baby so I left my husband around April of this year. My parents and my brother turned their backs on me and thought I should stay with my husband despite the abuse and I should just "deal with it". He confessed to them what he had done (he went to a domestic violence counselor and this was part of his therapy was to confess) and not to mention my mom walked in on the last bad attack.

Fast forward to June of this year. An old friend of mine, his wife passed away from a long time illness. Well it just so happens that his sister is my best friend. Him and I use to date when I was 14 years old! Anyways, sparks flew and we rekindled a relationship in July but the only problem is he lived in Florida and I was in Indiana. I decided to move to florida a few weeks ago with my girls. Things are going great and we have all settled in pretty well.

The only problem is, I just can't get over what my family has done to me. My bday was last week. I didn't even a card from anyone. Neither my dad or my brother bothered to call to wish me a happy bday. My mom sent flowers but she's also queen of guilt trips and there is always a hidden meaning behind everything. Tradition and family has always been so important to me so this is especially hard on me. I wanted so badly for my daughters to grow up with family traditions that I always loved but it's all gone now. What my family did is unforgiveable. I feel horribly guilty for robbing my girls from their grandparents but on the other hand, they were telling my kids negative things about me and I couldn't have that. I know what I did by moving was the right thing but I didn't know it would this hard to know that the family I've always known and loved is gone now.
Mama to 4 y/o ID twin girls (2006)
CM 0, C5-T1 syrinx, Scoliosis, Hypotension; PFD 2004
Deg Disc C4/5,Cervical Kyphosis-repaired 07 w cadavar bone graph & plate w 4 screws
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby Amy Joe » Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:31 am

Angie....YOU are carrying on Family with your girls. YOU did the right thing for your family!

I am thankful today you have settled in your new home with your dear daughters! I hope you enjoy your day, enjoy the stress free from worry about abuse!

I am very sorry for how you have been treated for standing up to NO violance. Your daughters will always remember Mommy is strong!

God Bless!

Amy Joe
MVA 11/05, Dx CM 7mm 1/06, PFD 10/07/2008
Occipital Neuralgia, POT's, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Vitamin D Deficient, Lymes, Celiac
NS: Dr Carl B Heilman
Tufts Medical in Boston
http://www.amyjoeonetoughcookie.blogspot.com
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby marymac » Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:51 am

Hi Ho Angie:

Sounds like they have the problem, not you. You, the tough cookie that does SO much for so many, don't deserve to be treated that way. They may just be jealous, thinking you're basking in the sun without a worry. Who knows why people show their ugly colors, especially because they KNOW this hurts you; they KNOW how hard things are for you; they should have helped you move.

I'm not just saying this, I also lived it. I still do. It's never gotten easier, but I've gotten better
dealing with it. And kids make friends so fast, you'll be busy for awhile. I live in Sarasota. Where did you move to?

So hang in there oh tough one. You've sure helped me before; hope this helps a tiny bit.
Enjoy your kids while you teach them to clean, lol.

Hugs and hopes
Mary
Marymac
Central disc herniations C5-6 and C6-7, extensive syringohydromyelia cavity throughout the cervical & thoracic cord (large syrinx from C6 inferiorly.)

"Every day is a gift: Thats why it's called the Present"
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby tennesseewalker » Fri Nov 26, 2010 3:30 pm

Hi Angie,

Everything in life is about the choices we make. You chose to get out of an abusive relationship to spare yourself and your girls. No one knows what is best for your family except you. And don't worry about depriving your girls of the family you had growing up. They don't need to learn that everyone matters but them. If your family would do this to you, they would do it to your girls too. Hang in there kid. You deserve to be safe and happy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Mary
Mary
Genetic CM/SM (me, my son, my twin sister and both of her daughters), RSD of right arm.
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby tinliz » Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:28 pm

Hi Angie,
I was going to write some really inspiringing words of wisdom but Amy Joe and Mary already wrote what I was going to say! The only thing I can add is good for you for following your heart and putting your daughters in a better environment. Only you know what you have been thru and only you know what is right for the girls. Time to start making new memories!
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby angie7 » Sat Nov 27, 2010 3:47 pm

Thanks so much! It does help to hear encouraging words through this. I know I will survive and as my newest tattoo says "this too shall pass". I know I will heal in time but it's hard none the less. I'm so very grateful for the new man in my life. He welcomed me and my kids in his life without hesitation. He knows about my conditions and was 100% accepting from the start. I was surprised considering he lost his wife as such a young age but when it's love, it's loveI guess :) He's given me a great, new life here in Florida with him and his son. But it's still difficult to know that I did the absolute right thing for my children and myself yet everyone that was suppose to support and love us uncondionally, didn't. It's a devastating feeling and quite honestly, I feel abandoned.

Thank you again for your words. It means more then you know!

Mary--I moved to a suburb outside of Tampa. We visit Clearwater, Sarasota and Venice quite often! It's beautiful there, the beaches are stunning!
Mama to 4 y/o ID twin girls (2006)
CM 0, C5-T1 syrinx, Scoliosis, Hypotension; PFD 2004
Deg Disc C4/5,Cervical Kyphosis-repaired 07 w cadavar bone graph & plate w 4 screws
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Location: Florida

Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby smoovie0704 » Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:39 pm

I echo what these ladies have said. But want to add, you are not without your family - your girls and your partner make up your family and there is no reason why you can't honor new traditions as part of your family celebrations. They are so young and these are the years that they will look back on and remember. Don't look back - what you did takes courage thousands of women do not have. Good luck!
Complex Migraine w/o Aura
CM 9mm
Fibromyalgia
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby tennesseewalker » Tue Nov 30, 2010 4:56 pm

Amen!
Mary
Genetic CM/SM (me, my son, my twin sister and both of her daughters), RSD of right arm.
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby marymac » Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:25 am

Well let me know when you are coming to Venice and we'll do the beach together, or sit and watch everybody else; great entertainment. Welcome to your new life and happy belated birthday.
See you soon!
Marymac
Marymac
Central disc herniations C5-6 and C6-7, extensive syringohydromyelia cavity throughout the cervical & thoracic cord (large syrinx from C6 inferiorly.)

"Every day is a gift: Thats why it's called the Present"
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Re: First holiday wo my family...

Postby angie7 » Mon Dec 06, 2010 3:09 pm

Sounds like a plan Mary!
Mama to 4 y/o ID twin girls (2006)
CM 0, C5-T1 syrinx, Scoliosis, Hypotension; PFD 2004
Deg Disc C4/5,Cervical Kyphosis-repaired 07 w cadavar bone graph & plate w 4 screws
angie7
 
Posts: 1572
Joined: Fri May 25, 2007 8:29 pm
Location: Florida


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