Another Angel over the Rainbow Bridge

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Another Angel over the Rainbow Bridge

Postby tattoodlb1 » Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:51 am

We are never truly ready for some things that happen to us, oh, we know they will happen eventually, but when they do, it's always a shock, nightmare, heart breaker, and it sometimes leaves you empty inside for a bit.... we are also subject to forces around us that push us into having to make very difficult decisions that breaks some bonds, heart strings and nurturing needs. Our minds are usually equipt to deal with most of these issues; humans adapt well (for the most part; some of us still kick and scream on the way, some of us are serene, and some of us get mad, feel guilt, or extreme emotional upheaval)

We are here, all of us because of our "conditions" SM or CM, or something similar. Most of us have pets (our fuzzy kids). Part of my story includes some very special "furry kids" that have made me stronger, more aware, able to open my heart more than I thought possible.

Beau came to me from God (through a neighbor, I'm not a very religious person, but I do believe in destiny, fate, etc and I think there is something that does control that for us as long as we are strong enough to make the right choices and accept what is given to us; as it turns out, we needed each other ). Beau was a frail, bald, blind, albino ferret that had been in someone's back yard for "weeks".

The "dog catcher" had it at the pound for a week in a small crate feeding it dog food. By the time I got there I thought the thing would die any second. I brought him home and no one was taking him from me.... he had a cigarette burn between his eyes, mange, broken teeth, a broken tail (and maybe also at one point a broken back). This little guy was so SWEET, kisses for mama every day, etc.

After a short month he had an episode where we thought he was going to pass away; we rushed him to the vet and xrays showed lymphoma. We put him on prednisone and he lived another 8 months with us, gaining 4 pounds!!!! (that's alot for a ferret). He showed me love, perserverence, joy (he loved to play); he would chase the cats but since he couldn't see, they would just turn around and Beau was off doing something else. He taught me that having disabilities was not all that bad if you had the right attitude. Having Beau brought my ferret total to 4. All rescued from a life of hell....neglect, etc.

Over this past weekend, my 3rd ferret started having seizures and I was able to get him calmed down and then I knew it was time for me to take him to the vet to be euthanized. I had been agonizing over it for months; he barely made it to the vet's office. I walked in with pouffy eyes, a red face, snot everywhere, I was a mess, everyone saw me and all conversation stopped. The doc rushed me into a room and took out Tranie, she said that he looked "awful"..... by this time, Tranie was blind and his back legs didn't work, but he looked in my direction when I said his name, he was nursed daily by me for several months. He also tought me that aging and having someone love you and care for you helps you last longer.

The doc gave Tranie a sedative shot so when the REAL shot was administered he wouldn't feel anything. The sedative was all he needed, he was so sick. I didn't know it, I mean I knew he was not good health wise, but I didn't know how bad....... I cried.... and the vet and I hugged (she's awesome) and she was like "you did the right thing, and I know how hard it is when you love something>>>>>"...... so I've been just devastated but on the other hand, I always learn from my pets, learn what they need, and in doing so, learn what I need. Pets (fuzzy kids) are very good teachers. We get what we need from them if we really are in tune with our pets.

So, yet another piece of my heart went over the rainbow bridge yesterday. It feels strange now, 1 ferret left, he went around all morning looking for Tranie.... I cried, that is so sad.... how do you , I mean, there is no language..... but Frosty had been staying away from Tranie for a while, but yesterday I got some pics of them cuddling and that made me cry; I took a lot of photos of Tranie yesterday because I knew...... getting down to making the euthanasia decision is so so so so so friggin hard, I almost didn't do it, but then his pain dying at home would have been too much; Pogo died at home and I'm still traumatized by it. I still beat myself up over it.

I've also learned that we do what we think is best, we make the decision and follow-through. Once that is done, it's done and no sense in breaking your heart or tearing up your emotional state over it. Besides, we don't look pretty when we cry.... I saw myself after I got in the car and I was like, who the hell is that?????? Snots are not very becoming......

To all of you with pets.... sometimes we have time to make "the decision" and sometimes we don't...... that is something we have no control over.

I know this is sad.... and I had to share, I had to open my heart again to let you in and maybe get another piece back somehow.... I already have too much loss in my life.
Love and hugs to you all....
Syringomyelia entire spinal cord including throughout conus, Chiari ? Hemangioma T2, Multiple Tarlov cysts; Empty sella & degenerative disc disease entire spine.. severe Fibromyalgia (central cord hypersensitivity).
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Re: Another Angel over the Rainbow Bridge

Postby marymac » Tue Dec 07, 2010 12:39 pm

Oh Dear Dana, I'm sorry you lost your baby. I really do know how that feels x 2. Snuggle up and try to be good to yourself. You deserve it.
Huge hugs, love, fake smiles is what WE need.
Take care cutie beauty.
Marymac
Marymac
Central disc herniations C5-6 and C6-7, extensive syringohydromyelia cavity throughout the cervical & thoracic cord (large syrinx from C6 inferiorly.)

"Every day is a gift: Thats why it's called the Present"
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Re: Another Angel over the Rainbow Bridge

Postby wendi » Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:20 pm

Dana:

You know how I feel about you and your "kids" Tranie and DeeDee are playing together and in no pain.

Wendi
ACM 7.5mm B4 TCS 2.4mm post op
TC ,TCS @ TCI on 1/3/08,
chronic sacrolitis
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Re: Another Angel over the Rainbow Bridge

Postby Amy Joe » Tue Dec 07, 2010 6:12 pm

Dana I love how you can give.........I am sure God or the higher being is thankful to you for all the love and compassion you give his animals.

My deepest sorrow for you pain right now.

Amy Joe
MVA 11/05, Dx CM 7mm 1/06, PFD 10/07/2008
Occipital Neuralgia, POT's, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Vitamin D Deficient, Lymes, Celiac
NS: Dr Carl B Heilman
Tufts Medical in Boston
http://www.amyjoeonetoughcookie.blogspot.com
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Re: Another Angel over the Rainbow Bridge

Postby tennesseewalker » Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:52 pm

Dana, when we lost our dear Keeska, we planted a tree for her. It is a beautiful double bloom Hibiscus and we think of her every time we see it bloom. We call it "Keeska's tree".
Mary
Genetic CM/SM (me, my son, my twin sister and both of her daughters), RSD of right arm.
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