feeling angry and frustrated

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feeling angry and frustrated

Postby debh » Tue Mar 11, 2008 6:13 am

Heh guys, I feel alittle angry because from the beginning I have had to make all my doc appts. , go to CC alone from Jersey, go to work -just get thru the day-for my benefits- fight for tests to ease my mind-go the holistic route-try anything to feel better- with friends and others rolling their eyes-they I have no idea-sometimes I feel like I have no support-is it all worth it? Now , I keep my doc appts to myself -the planned TCI trip-rhuemy-to avoid the judgements. Financially, well ever since coming back from temp disability I make $1000.00 less a month-a choice for my health-now my job is going to increase my work schedule-do I go ahead and get family leave-force the issue of 4 days-I am just tired of feeling I have to do everything myself -yes I know it is my responsiblity to take care of myself but I do get tired of the ####### ya know?! :x
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Postby MorningBroken » Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:53 am

I think the hardest part of dealing with my ACM issues, was getting off my "high-horse" long enough to ask for help.

I was always the Sunday School/VBS teacher, the activities co-ordinator, worked in the food pantry, donated to various charities, belonged to clubs and councils, active in the PTA, as a teachers asst. at my son's school, etc. etc. etc.

DH had asked a close family friend to help with a little child care and housework shortly after surgery while he had to be gone for a couple days. She confided something to me, that really changed my perspective. "You have done so much for our family that we've never been able to pay back. It's been such a blessing for us, to be able to help ya'll out in return. You'll never understand what it means."

Now, I'm not saying that its better to recieve than to give. But sometimes, when we let ourselves be open to receiving help when we need it, we allow someone to "pay it forward" for a blessing they have recieved in their own life.

Tis better to give than to recieve. This is true. But dont forget, that we can give a chance, for another to give, and both recieve so very very much.

God Bless you honey.

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Postby SMLady » Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:20 am

debh, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and you are in my prayers. I don't remember how long you've had SM (or was it CM, I don't remember), but I know at first I felt all alone too and got the rolling eyes thing. But things finally changed and are looking better. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Just know that others are here for you.

Take care,

Proud Mom of One Son
Idiopathic SM T1 - T9, DDD, Scoliosis, Pinched Nerves, Bulging Discs, Spondylosis, Stenosis
The Man who walks with God always gets to his destination.
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Postby petsmom » Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:39 pm

Dear debh

It is ok to not be "wonderwoman"! I think a lot of us get into this mindset. We can ask help for someone else but not for ourselves. But I agree that you may have those that will help IF they know what to help with. Life can get to be a really chaotic mess even for healthy folks. We do deal with a bunch of mess most folks have no clue of. Friends may not know how to approach the subject with you.

First, kick back, grab some chocolates, run a hot bath and pamper yourself a bit. Take a break and time just for yourself. Indulge yourself in the idea of the "best wishes and prayers" being sent your way.

Then think about the little things someone else could help with. And reach out and tell someone.

Hugs and prayers,

Dawn, TNgal
I am not my disorder. It does not define me as a Person.
DDD, SM thoracic
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Postby Amy Joe » Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:41 am

I agree with all the above. HC once told me it's ok NOT to be superwoman. Has been hard on my pride but now I ask for help. Could be small things such as at work getting someone to carry copier paper.

Now on errand day I plan it AROUND others, I can not drive and then function for the errands, so I enlist one of my children when they are available to drive me, they also double check my list to make sure of ALL the stuff I need to do.

Grocery shopping is the biggy, Since there is 8 adults.... I just go and hold onto the cart and point I need this, that ect.

It's not so bad!

You gotta ask. No one will know if you don't ask. In my house the kids actually feel good about helping me. They can't make the pain go away... this is thier way of keeping it in check.

It was very stressful to LET IT GO. Now that I am ok with it, stress has been reduced.

If your children are small they too will love to help. Get a chores list going. We take on the world but we do not have to.

God Bless

Amy Joe
MVA 11/05, Dx CM 7mm 1/06, PFD 10/07/2008
Occipital Neuralgia, POT's, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Vitamin D Deficient, Lymes, Celiac
NS: Dr Carl B Heilman
Tufts Medical in Boston
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Postby Sandy » Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:02 am



I know where you're coming from. When you're with someone you know won't mind helping you might try just mentioning that you are having difficulty with (fill in the blank here). They'll probably figure out how they can help and will offer. Take them up on it!

If they don't they're not worth asking for help anyway.

sending love,
sandy :D
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Postby Janice » Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:47 am

Sandy wrote: If they don't they're not worth asking for help anyway.

Well said!!!! :wink:

Take care,
GOD Bless!

Thoracic: SM T3-T12 / Disc Buldge T7-T9 / Mild Scoliosis
Cervical: SM C2-C6 / DDD / Kyphosis
Hemangioma's: T9-T11 & L4

http://janice-mylifewithsm.blogspot.com/ (Copy & Paste link into your browser)
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Postby preciousheide » Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:11 pm

I too feel that I am in this whole thing alone most of the time. My family kept telling me I am the boy who cries wolf, and even now with the "PROOF" , they still offer no help to a single mother of two.

I thought about applying for a PCA worker but I am too afraid to feel soooooo much like a "PATIENT". I cant believe that just nine months ago for me I was so hyper and fun to be around, lots of energy, little sleep. Now I am pretty much the opposite and not having support makes it soooo much harder. I hope that people will come around for you. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. no one deserves to have to deal with that. good luck from the bottom of my heart!
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Postby kiminfla » Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:06 pm

Hey Deb, Just checking in...I know this stuff is so frustrating at times and when we get the feeling that we have to deal with it alone it can truly feel like "too much"...I pray this finds you feeling better! Be blessed, Kim
CM - PFD 9/7/06
Life is mostly froth and bubble. Two things stand like stone: Kindness in another's trouble, Courage in your own. -- Adam Lindsay Gordon
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