by marymac » Wed May 01, 2013 8:59 pm
Hi Ho Friends
I write on here only about SM, never on FB. . . we all know what we mean to say on here and can understand what we're talking about here. I've only lost friends by telling them on FB: they don't want to hear it and I don't want to tell; not ashamed, just not comfortable with their judgements, opinions or comments when they know not of what they speak. At least here we can spit it out and get understanding answers or replies back. I wish we could all get together besides at a conference, just to know the faces behind the names, as we so often hide (with good reason, eh???) I trust my friends on here, and have no problem discussing meds, developments or opinions and feel safe asking questions. Also we can discuss the effects on our relationships here without fear of retribution, or hurt spouses, kids, etc. Nobody ever asks how I'm doing on FB. . . only here because we understand what the other is going thru. I will most certainly post more now that I know it's not just me. I used to come on daily, then it just seemed to dwindle so would only come on with questions when there was a problem. . . I'll be back regularly with pleasure and hope you will be too. I felt so lonely through the holidays, it was pathetic. Doing for others usually eliminates that but those days are fewer and shorter, by far. Lucky I can get thru my own day without help of other people. . . they seem to forget, especially if we still look good. Takes me a damn hour to paint on a happy face now in the morning, but it's worth it to me because people still treat me like I'm "normal" when I go out, which is also much less often. Used to take 8 minutes but when the hands went, whole new story. People comment on my hair because I've colored the gray and it has grown long because I can't stand the salon chairs: and tell me I look younger, HA. If they only knew. . . it's all a facade. If I don't paint the face on, I won't go out because I get the "mortified" look. Makeup is so fake and I used to think the time applying it was a waste but now I realize how much nicer people treat me, so I do the dance every day. As for the hair, it's wash and wear: no curlers, no irons, zip. If I can wad it up in a twist, it looks dignified and thus the compliments. People are SO very shallow. But I do it because I want to be treated decently, not pathetically. Too bad that's what it takes. Next time I see my NS, think I'll go "bare" so he understands it is worse, not better: he actually told me how much better I look, UGH. So FAKE and so SHALLOW. What a joke. Anyway, I'll be back to chat more often for sure. I miss you guys!
Love and gentle hugs
Mary Mac
Marymac
Central disc herniations C5-6 and C6-7, extensive syringohydromyelia cavity throughout the cervical & thoracic cord (large syrinx from C6 inferiorly.)
"Every day is a gift: Thats why it's called the Present"