Memorial Day Thoughts

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Memorial Day Thoughts

Postby karenb » Sun May 29, 2011 9:00 pm

Hi All,

It's the evening before Memorial Day, and I feel really sad.

My father was a WWII Veteran - Pacific theater - and just passed away on March 11 of this year. Even though I'm seeking grief counseling, I'm still tortured by the look in his eyes during his last day or so. We were together so much of the time, but not during the final few minutes of his life.

My mom was engaged to a serviceman - she received a letter from the Red Cross indicating that he was wounded and coming home, but he never actually came home (he went elsewhere, evidently, and Mom never heard anything else).

Both of my parents are gone now, just within the past few months. Tomorrow, I will be laying roses at the local Memorial in their memory. But I feel as if my heart is going to burst any moment.

Thanks for listening.

Karen
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Re: Memorial Day Thoughts

Postby June » Sun May 29, 2011 11:23 pm

Karen - What a sad story! But seems like your mother recovered and met another man--your father--and had a happy life. But I'm so sad for you, losing both parents so close together must be very difficult. And the first anniversaries are the hardest--first birthdays, first Christmas, etc. Both my parents are gone now, too, and all I can offer you is that you don't get over it, but you do get used to it. Time does help. I hope you can remember the good times tomorrow when you are placing the flowers, shed some tears, but try to smile again at the happy memories.

June
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Re: Memorial Day Thoughts

Postby karenb » Thu Jun 02, 2011 6:37 am

Hi June,

Thank you for the kind words and support. I wept an awful lot of tears that night, and the next day. It wasn't until Tuesday that I realized that that the holiday was also the 6-month anniversary of my mother's passing. I cried for hours that evening, and just needed to reach out.

Karen
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Re: Memorial Day Thoughts

Postby Beverley » Thu Jun 02, 2011 2:36 pm

Karen, Hang in there girl!!

You have had quite a lot happen the last couple of years. Between your own health and your parents.
You have had quite a list. While the joy of seeing a newborn baby for the very first time lingers and
can carry you though for harder times. The changes that we feel when someone close to use passes on
can feel like a weight around our hearts. You will see in time that you will find different things to feel
the void that is the great amount if time that you spent with your parents the last couple years.
While it is a gift to be able to be with them in their final months or years, when it is over it can leave a
gapping hole where they once stood so vibrant and bright.

You will spend some time finishing up this chapter in your life. Try to remember the good times that you
shared and the good things they were able to accomplish in their lives. Look through the old photos and
remember the fun. If you can do it with someone else even if they were not present it helps to be able to
say out loud what was happending when a picture was taken. It really seems to bring it back to life just to
have someone to listen. The grieving process is different for everyone so take all the time you need.

The beginning of April I had a close close friend pass and was able to be with her and her family at the end.
We spent a day after she passed looking at old pictures with the family. It was inspiring. Three of her
Children were there and I know it helped them too remember some of their fun times as kids. We laughed
and we cried. But if fill me up so much.

Both of my parents are gone now and there are times that I feel alone. I try hard to stay present and around
others that are like family to me. Building great memories that will last for another lifetime.

Blessing to you!! I will be sending extra prayers for you.

Beverley
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Re: Memorial Day Thoughts

Postby karenb » Thu Jun 02, 2011 6:14 pm

Beverley,

Thank you so much for the extra encouragement - there are a lot of times that I really find I need it these days. Between the memories, discovering just what interesting people they were, struggling with some of the regrets, and trying to deal with paperwork, I often find myself completely overwhelmed.

I've been discovering all kinds of pictures since I moved back out west to care for them (I lived in NJ for 19 years before packing up and moving back). It is good therapy to look at them and remember the good times!

Thank you again for the encouragement and prayers.

Karen
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