Pride

Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee and have a nice long chat. This forum is the perfect place to get to know one another on a more personal basis. Share birthday or get well wishes, funny stories, jokes and interesting tidbits.

Moderator: pmaxwell

Pride

Postby drummergrl » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:37 pm

Having a hard time swallowing my pride this week. Was in the hospital for the last 5 days because my leg went completely numb/paralyzed. Slowly getting some control of it back, but am on crutches and/or a walker 24/7. Can't do anything around the house, can't drive (right leg), can only go to work for a few hours at a time. Finding myself fighting between safety (using walker/crutches, slowing down) and my own pride.

I know so many of you have dealt with this for years- how do you manage the frustration???
CM, SM, Scoliosis
drummergrl
 
Posts: 160
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 4:01 pm

Re: Pride

Postby gunflint » Mon Apr 30, 2012 4:59 pm

Hang in there drummergirl. I know at times it feels like it's you against the world, but it's not. The internet is amazing in that we can all meet our fellow travelers in this SM ride. The down part is that we can't see each other. But know that we care. We really do!
gunflint
 
Posts: 266
Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2011 8:10 am
Location: Duluth Mn

Re: Pride

Postby Rachael » Tue May 01, 2012 7:15 pm

I used to use crutches (mainly for balance, knees giving out etc) but after months of physio I've managed to leave them at home for a while now :) hopefully you will too x still can't feel much in left leg but used to it now although it is sometimes like walking on an invisible leg! understand the pride issue though, can't offer any advice on that other than you're not alone on that one x
User avatar
Rachael
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:25 am
Location: UK

Re: Pride

Postby karenb » Wed May 02, 2012 9:50 pm

Hey there, drummergirl,

I've seen your posts from time to time but, to be honest, always hesitated to respond because it seems you know so much more than I do.

For background, I've had SM for at least 15 years, of which I used a cane for 10, a walker for about 1-1/2, and a wheelchair for about 3-1/2. The truth, though, is that I don't manage the tradeoff between safety and pride - I just get along as best I can.

Right now, I get angry and frustrated every time I have to use my walker or cane around the house (even though my cane fits me like an old friend and I've had several falls and ER visits). Heck, I get angry and frustrated every time I'm faced with a task that's on my "permanently given up for lent" list - like climbing ladders, changing lightbulbs, lifting more than 5 pounds, etc.

I'm now in a motorized wheelchair (building up strength for the manual chair), and am pretty good about using it outside the house... then, it's just my pride that gets hurt, but there's still something about "being in public" and thinking "I might get in trouble". At home, I really should be using my walker or cane more than I do, but I also feel more freedom (even though I'm really more at risk, and have the ER record to prove it).

I just keep trying to remember a dear elderly lady I knew when I first got my cane (for a few days, or so I thought). She was 94, had fallen, and had been instructed to use a cane. She insisted that "I will not - it makes me look old!". Meanwhile, I struggled with learning to get about on my new cane, but was bound and determined to make it to an event in New York City and to a tour of Portugal and southern Spain. Shortly after I returned home, still on my cane and still in agony, my elderly friend passed away, having refused to even use the cane to get out of bed.

I don't know if this helps, but I hope to at least provide a bit of encouragement to a fellow-traveller on this awful path we share.

Karen
karenb
 
Posts: 645
Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 9:41 pm
Location: Las Cruces, NM

Re: Pride

Postby drummergrl » Mon May 07, 2012 12:41 pm

Thanks for your replies- sometimes just knowing that there are other people out there who understand...who get it, is all I need. This is surely a frustrating condition and it always seems that just when things are going well something happens to push me back to square one. But I'm trying to remember that suffering brings strength- and I'd rather be strong because of these conditions as opposed to weak and unknowing. Again, I appreciate hearing your own stories...it helps so much.
CM, SM, Scoliosis
drummergrl
 
Posts: 160
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 4:01 pm

Re: Pride

Postby karenb » Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:57 pm

Sorry for the long delay... I've finally been humbled...

I had a hysterectomy on June 5, and I've been in bed, in my wheelchair, or on my walker ever since. No options or choices - I hurt too bad!

I hope y'all are feeling somewhat better.

Karen
karenb
 
Posts: 645
Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 9:41 pm
Location: Las Cruces, NM

Re: Pride

Postby drummergrl » Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:50 pm

Hang in there Karen...I know how miserable it is to have no options or choices, and it's so hard sometimes. But what I've recently realized is that those moments of awful pain and frustration make the moments that come afterward SO MUCH BETTER. I'll be thinking about you, and I hope you start to feel better soon!
CM, SM, Scoliosis
drummergrl
 
Posts: 160
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 4:01 pm

Re: Pride

Postby karenb » Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:57 pm

Drummergirl,

You certainly are right - the bad days make the good ones that much sweeter!

Karen
karenb
 
Posts: 645
Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 9:41 pm
Location: Las Cruces, NM


Return to ASAP Lounge

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

cron