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Postby wendi » Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:58 am

For those of you who have been keeping up with DeeDee, she was doing really well with her therapy, a little too well and was starting to walk again. On Wednesday, she was sleeping on the couch while I was in the bathroom drying my hair. The day before, she had not had a BM, so I had given her wet food to make it easier for her to go, well she must have had to go real bad and decided to walk down the doggy steps herself and fell off them! I heard her cry out and I went running out to the living room. I am so mad at myself! I should have kept her on the floor, but then she tried to walk around and would not be still. She was sleeping, so I thought she was fine. I can't cage her as she would hurt herself trying to get out. Anyway, the fall really messed her up. She was in so much pain and still had to poop. I took her in the kitchen where she kept having the squirts till my DH came home. My mom and son were supposed to get there about then, I called them and told them we were taking DeeDee to the Vet Hospital. They would just have to get in the house and wait for us.

The ER Vet was really rude and said, well, she will never walk again, she has no feeling in her feet. I said, look, I don't care about that, did you give her a shot, she is in pain. They said yes. They said they could admit her for pain mgt, but I did not want that. They put a pain patch on her and said when the shot wore off the patch should take over. She came home and slept for a few hours then was up again. She was still in so much pain. I sat up with her all night. I asked my dh to sit with her for a few hours so I could get some sleep. He layed on the couch with her. I slept for 2 hours. When I got up, he said, shh, shes quiet, I went out to the garage bathroom, where I go to smoke. He came out a few minutes later and said, are you going to the bathroom? I said, yes, he said, Wendi, she's gone. I screamed! What do you mean? How can she be gone? I feel horrible! She died in so much pain. She died because of the pain. I should have left them admit her! I should have not let her on the couch. This dog was my baby and I failed her. I have been crying since Thrusday.

My one friend said take comfort in the other 2. One is Dee Dee's puppy. They do bring me some and yet they make me feel so sad. I am just so heartbroken. Yes, she has no more pain, but I did not help her. I am a good pet owner. I would have put her to sleep, if it was called for. I am just so angry and sad. I am at work and have to be here for a little while because I have some things to do, but I am going home as soon as I can. I just want to sleep. I miss her so much.


Please pray for my angel, DeeDee that she is over the rainbow bridge..............
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Postby sheryl » Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:32 am

Sorry for your loss. Our pets are precious members of our family. I have accidentally hurt my pets before and I understand the guilt you feel but dont keep beating yourself up as you cant change the situation and it was just her time to go regardless of the circumstances that helped her there. You gave her a great life and she was well loved.....many pets aren't so fortunate.
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Postby *Hope* » Mon Nov 29, 2010 12:41 pm

OHhhh Wendi! I am SO sorry.

Our pets can't tell us how much pain they're in, so we just have to do our best. You did your best. You took her in, got her a shot, and got her a patch. You did your part and then some. You relieved so much of her pain and suffering for such a long time. You showed her love and that is the greatest medicine and need for a dog. She knew how much you loved her and cared for her. Sometimes bodies just give out. Her body couldn't take any more, but it doesn't mean that she wasn't comforted by you guys. She was. It was just time, Wendi.

You should be patting yourself on the back for the spoiled, pampered life you did give her! :) Please try not to blame yourself, and try to let go of the guilt.
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Postby aspen13 » Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:24 pm

Pleae don't worry about any pain she was in, it was better that she was with you. I know pet's understand these things and I am sure she was happier with you, then at the vet's. Please don't feel guilty about what happened. She had a happy life with you, you were there for her all her life and when she needed it the most. She died sleeping and with the people she loves.
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Postby razzle » Mon Nov 29, 2010 5:45 pm

Pets may leave your arms, but they never leave your heart. Big Hugs to you. Roz
Once you choose hope, anything's possible.

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Postby smoovie0704 » Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:36 pm

I am not a fan of pets mostly due to allergies, but I feel your anguish and your story brought tears to my eyes. I am sorry for your loss. I agree that you did the right thing by bringing her home to spend her last moments surrounded by your love and her babies. The pain management may not have worked and only prolonged her suffering. You are a great pet owner, you have given her the best you had.
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Postby medicpt » Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:36 pm

I am so sorry Wendi, the loss of a dear pet is heartbreaking. I pray that you will find peace with this in time. Try not to blame yourself. You did what you felt was best and I am sure that Dee Dee felt your love.
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Postby Amy Joe » Tue Nov 30, 2010 5:02 pm

Oh Wendi, I am truly sorry for your loss. Plus I agree 200% with Roz....furever in your heart will Dee Dee be!


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Postby Janice » Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:11 am

Oh Wendi, I am so sorry to hear about DeeDee. I feel as if I knew her, in a way, through you. I know you've always done the right thing by all your pups/babies. I know they felt the love you cherished on them. I moved my leg in the bed one time and accidentally knocked Pinky off the bed, she hurt her leg when she hit the floor, I felt so bad for hurting her. So, I know you feel about her fall to the floor (moreso cause I accidentally pushed her).

You said it, she must have really had to go pottie. You had no idea she'd wake up so soon. There is nothing for you feel guilty about.

I agree that it was her time. I also agree that she was much more comfortable at home w/her family.

My heart sank when I heard your scream (it was as if I could hear you), and my eyes filled with tears flowing for you and Dee Dee. You have a lot of fond memories of her, remember the good times. Don't let quilt into your heart, you loved and cared for Dee Dee like you would for your child, and Dee Dee felt all that you gave.

Take care Wendi, you're in my thoughts and prayers. I'm here for you, I'll inbox you my cell number, call if you need or want. (((((Love & Hugs)))))
GOD Bless!

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Postby wendi » Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:20 am

Thank you so much everyone for your words of kindness. I am trying to come to terms with this. My other 2 girls are helping me some as they are such lap dogs. The new one we adopted last year is a snuggler and she makes me smile thru my tears.

I try and think about the good times. A very fond memory is when she had her puppies in the living room, right about this time in 2003. Electra was her first born. She was such a good Momma. This was her second litter. She would have been 14 in January. Doxies live to be 15-18 and I expected her to live to 20 since I took such good care of her. My first Doxie, Shorty Long died at 15. She loved him and I am thinking that the two of them are together now, running and playing.

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Postby keggler 1 » Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:31 pm

Wendi....So sorry for your loss. I lost my Yorkie...Scottter last year and I now have one of his grand daughters Suddie. I had him put down and still cried over
not taking him home to die with me. Our love for pets is so real it can cause other problems to manifest.Grieve for your loss,and remember you aren't ever alone as long as you have memories and excepting Gods love will sustain you and it will hurt less as time goes by.

Later...GBWY...Jerry in Carolina....
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Postby phyrehawke » Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:14 am

Dear Wendi,
Please don't beat yourself up too much over this. My relatively young maltese died of heart failure last year. We took him to the ER Vet in the middle of the night and admitted him. They called us back a few hours later saying he was having a major crisis, would not recover, and did we want to put him down? I could hear my dog literally screaming in the background and immediately felt horribly guilty. He was terrified, in pain, with no mommie to comfort him. I will never forget that sound as long as I live, but I couldn't be so selfish to let that pain go on until my husband and I could get there. So I gave them permission to put him down right then, over the phone. I felt horrible (still do) that he had to pass in an unfamiliar scary place with unfamiliar people, and not in our arms. Oh s..t, now I'm crying, lol. I haven't talked about this in a long time. When we took him in and told the Vet how long he had lived with his particular heart defect he was shocked. Usually these dogs make it barely 6 weeks and we had managed to give him 7 extra months, but they were really difficult stressful months and nearly ended our marriage. I would still do it all over again. So don't beat yourself up. I don't think you did anything wrong in keeping your DeeDee at home.

It was a great gift to your dog that she could pass at home, around people she loved. Not terrified in a strange place. It could be that it was her time to go no matter what anybody did. It sounds like the Vet was already convinced that she didn't have much time left, no matter what you did or did not do. It's my experience that Vets are usually right about these things, and you make the best choices you can and live with the consequences. It's so hard. But it does get easier as time goes on.
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Postby chrisw » Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:20 pm

I am so very sorry for your loss.
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